Hey everyone. So… I think I’m having a midlife crisis in my twenties…. Is that even possible? I don’t know, but I realized I do not know myself.
Last week in Relief Society they went around and had everyone talk about themselves. We were to say our favorite hobbies and our favorite scripture. Now the scripture’s easy, its Alma 26:12, but hobbies? In high school that question was easy. I did color guard in the marching band and we are awesome. I was going to go to college and be a junior high history teacher. I knew who I was and where I was going. But now? Okay so now I know someday I will be a marriage and family counselor and a mom, but I’m neither of those yet and have no clue as to when those will happen.
Have you ever looked in the mirror and had no clue who was staring back at you? Now, I’m not talking about amnesia or anything. It’s just that life changes and you change and I think Sunday it really hit me that I’m not the same person I use to be. I’m not the color guard girl who was shy and quiet and loved to read and write. I know exactly how she would look and act in every situation but I’m not her anymore. Sometimes I’m outgoing and talk a lot and sometimes I’m shy and quiet still. I don’t know what kind of style I like anymore besides whatever is free or cheap. I’m not a girly girl or perfectionist, I’m not a tom boy and I hate sports and being outside. What are my hobbies? The only thing I do in my spare time is sleep… literally!
Okay so I’m not who I use to be but am I lame? Is it okay that I’m not adventurous or outgoing or spontaneous or clean? I had a freak out moment about this until my husband reminded me that it’s okay. He reminded me that I’m quirky and caring and that’s just fine. I may not have the most exciting personality but the people I most admire in my life are quiet and caring and good listeners.
So to wrap all this yammering into one thing, this Sunday I learned that in life we change and that is okay. It’s fine that I’m not the same person that I was before. Based on some comments during relief society once I discovered who I am I will start having kids and that will change again because my priorities will change. I just need to be happy with who I am now and reach for my fullest potential because I can only be me.
Now do I have any idea what I’m going to say the next Sunday they finish going around and having everyone introduce themselves (since we only got through half)? Nope! Not a clue but I’m going to have fun just learning more about this new me because I know she is something special.