I want to know who I am. Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? I know that I am not alone in these questions! The issue is that I am asking the wrong questions and then the world likes to give me less then perfect answers.
I live in a time where people are always talking about discovering yourself, be true to yourself, and that it doesn’t matter what people, think just be yourself. These really are great philosophies! I fully believe that we should be ourselves, but I also know that they can also become an excuse to participate in wickedness. I need to be me and true to myself in the right way.
Several years ago I sat with a friend in the car and vented to her my frustration that I did not know who I was so I felt I couldn’t be myself. She kindly reminded me that this life is not about finding who we are but instead remembering who we are. I have always existed. The only difference is that I have not always had a body. Before I was born and obtained a body my spirit existed, and always has. My spirit had a personality and a life and I know this because of my patriarchal blessing*. That spirit is apart of me. That person that I have is always been is still with me!
I know from my patriarchal blessing that I have always had a personal relationship with my Heavenly Father and I choose the life that I have now. This spirit had full faith that when it came to earth that I would do the best I can and through the Saviors atonement I would be able to return home to my Heavenly Father.
My blessing has always intimidated me because I don’t feel like I am that awesome spirit that I was. That’s okay because I’m a spirit with an imperfect human body. My poor spirit has to put up with such an imperfect body that is so easily succumb to worldly temptations. That is part of my spirit’s progression, my progression. Someday I will become a resurrected being with a perfect body and spirit but that day is not today. I use to think, “Who am I?” but now I think, “Who was I?” and “Who can I become?” I need to find myself in a spiritual way and not a worldly way because it’s my spirit that I am rediscovering inside a human body.
I am so imperfect and life is so hard for me, because I make so many mistakes. But I know that I have people cheering me on in this life and beyond the veil. I was blessed in my patriarchal blessing to know more about who I was before I came to earth because I know that I am my own cheerleader and I can handle every challenge that comes my way if I stay close to the Lord and find myself spiritually.
*What’s a patriarchal blessing?