Day 4 of the 12 Days of CHRISTmas
It’s very dark. It’s very cold. It’s the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I feel completely and utterly alone. My own shame surrounds me like a thick sticky cloud of darkness. I am completely stuck with nowhere to turn. I am stranded in a living nightmare.
I can never fully explain what it is like to struggle depression, anxiety, and addiction. But that doesn’t matter. You don’t have to know what it’s like. You have your own personal suffering to go through.
I speak to those who are facing personal trials and family struggles, those who endure conflicts fought in the lonely foxholes of the heart, those trying to hold back floodwaters of despair that sometimes wash over us like a tsunami of the soul. I wish to speak particularly to you who feel your lives are broken, seemingly beyond repair.
Broken. I know that feeling. I constantly struggle to not feel broken past the point of repair, which makes it hard to trust in my Savior. How could I possibly be someone worthy of his love and sacrifice? I am too gross. Too wrong. Too shattered. Too ashamed.
But it doesn’t matter what I think.
“The Living Christ” section four explains:
He instituted the sacrament as a reminder of His great atoning sacrifice. He was arrested and condemned on spurious charges, convicted to satisfy a mob, and sentenced to die on Calvary’s cross. He gave His life to atone for the sins of all mankind. His was a great vicarious gift in behalf of all who would ever live upon the earth.
He already died and atoned for my sins because he loves me unconditionally. So, as hard as it is to accept, I don’t get to choose if I’m worthy or not. I only get to decide if I trust in him or not, because “he knows the way out and He knows the way up. He knows it because He has walked it. He knows the way because He is the way.”
Quotes from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk Broken Things to Mend
Read Day 5 of the 12 Days of CHRISTmas by clicking HERE
Read Day 3 of the 12 Days of CHRISTmas by clicking HERE