Sunday… Sunday… Sunday… a day I in which I tend to mentally crash. I really don’t know why Sunday’s are so difficult for me. I could be because it is the start of a new week and that is really overwhelming for me. I also could have something to do with the fact that lately when I go to church I have panic attacks or when I stay home I feel extremely shameful. Regardless, Sundays tend to be me having melt downs where I lay in bed all day crying because I feel so depressed.
Today was no different but I really have tried to have a better handle on it. I made sure to take my depression medication. I have taken a shower (which is huge!) and eaten several meals (also huge). I have also written and vloged today which has meant allowing myself to feel these shameful feelings and face them.
Despite my minor accomplishments, it’s difficult to not look at today (and all the other Sunday’s from the last year) and feel really defeated. Tears truly have happened today over the lack of progress but it goes back to what I said yesterday. I have to realize that everything is in baby steps.
I am truly learning where my limits are and to be okay with the fact that some days I will not be okay.