I woke up this morning feeling overwhelmed and anxious. I couldn’t calm myself down and started feeling shameful and guilty. I’ve been so tired from a week of bad sleep that I just felt so physically and emotionally exhausted.
No matter how much I tried I couldn’t get myself out of bed. I ended up having to call in to work and let them know what was happening. Even though my boss knows everything and is really supportive it is still humiliating to tell her I am struggling, knowing that with each slip up I am letting her down.
I lied in bed all day today with Netflix running while I slept or cried into my pillow. All I could think was that I had been doing so well and now I have ruined all my progress.
I felt like I was just a big disappointment to everyone but especially myself. I knew that because I constantly struggle everyone must hated me. I was so alone and claustrophobically trapped in my own shame.