The Greatest Gift (Day 12)

We walked down the streets of Temple Square. The lights sparked as they surrounded me. The cold biting my exposed cheeks. While standing in front of the temple my activity days leader handed me a shiny little golden box with a bow on top. All of us girls were so excited to see what could be... Continue Reading →

The Mission Call (Day 11)

I did not serve a mission. I wanted to, but didn't. I had my papers all ready to go but as I was about to submit them I had the strong impression that I shouldn't. That was a difficult experience but looking back I am grateful that I didn't. I know it would have been... Continue Reading →

A Special Witness (Day 8)

As a child I hated general conference. It was soooo long and soooo boring. I could not stand it. The only good thing about it was getting to stay in my pj's all day long. As I've gotten older I have come to enjoy conference in a way that my younger self would never have understood.... Continue Reading →

The Debt (Day 7)

This was it, this was the moment. This was the place. I felt it so strongly that my heart felt like it was going to leap out of my chest. It was time for me to enter an eating disorder treatment center and I knew the one that I was going to be the best... Continue Reading →

Death, the Conquered (Day 5)

That night is such a vivid memory but at the same time a complete blur. There was a lot of crying to the point I didn't even realize when I was or wasn't anymore. I felt deeply sad. I had never before lost someone to death and didn't know how to feel.  Death is pretty... Continue Reading →

When Broken (Day 4)

It was a very dark. It was very cold. It was the most painful thing I had ever experienced. I felt completely and utterly alone. My own shame surrounded me as if it were a dark thick and sticky cloud. I was completely stuck with no where to turn. I was in my own personal... Continue Reading →

Being Christlike (Day 3)

Every morning I opened my eyes to the sound of someone telling me it was time to wake up. I would lie there for a second before changing into my hospital gown, that we would wear as we got our vitals taken, contemplating if getting up would be worth it today. The answer was always... Continue Reading →

His Creation (Day 2)

I hated it. I hated it so much! I could not stand anything about my own body to the point that I was willing to die in order to change it. Like many people out there, I struggle with an eating disorder. So, me and my body are not exactly on good terms which made... Continue Reading →

What Child is This? (Day 1)

Colored lights go up that reflect off the ornaments. The smell of pine fills the room.Holiday songs are constantly playing wherever I go. It is as if the very air around me has changed. It is the Christmas season and I can see it all around me, but do I feel it? This year has... Continue Reading →

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